Inspired by love and dedicated to Jesus,
Under a masked cloud of fear, I confessed to someone I love about feelings toward my upcoming semester. Consistent with their character, they simply responded with the question:
What kind of spirit is God?
Not to shame me into “getting it together,” or diminish my feelings.
A reminder of who God is to me, and has always been to me — one that would be fatal for me to forget.
So, I sat and reflected on who God is to me.
Below is a product of that reflection, but I just want to encourage you to remember who God is. Whatever season you are in, remember who God is.
The entire foundation of Queens in Spring rests on the fact that God is consistently good.
To my dear friend, thank you for the reminder —
and to Jesus, thank you for your truth and holiness.
I sit and wait
In wonder, I wait
I wonder at the pain I feel amidst the joy
Is this the promise
Is this the reward
Will you rescue me from my thoughts
From the belly of the beast
If it swims away will you chase it?
Drain the ocean to find me?
Sent your son to die for your children
Felt it all
Carried it all
Shed it all
We know this to be true
Yet we sit and cry each time a cloud covers the son.
The shade that is your mercy
Covers the light we so proudly take for granted
Falls on us like a dove
Yet we sit and cry
Alas, your mercy shines through
To proud to stand,
Basking in the rays of your mercy
We run from you
We run from you
The cloud returns
I pray that in every season you remember to live in the truth of who God is to you.